The numbers don't lie but I don't want to die ( I mean, go on a diet.).

Home-made pizza. 

With a new year upon us, people ( well, some anyway ) get into this habit of doing the "resolution" thing. And always, most of the time, it is geared towards getting fit--say like, exercise more, eat healthier and so on and so forth. I think it is a commendable undertaking, one that requires a strong resolve and commitment. Something that I'm not too keen on taking on.

I'm a "food person", whatever that means-- the only thing I can come up with, as some kind of an explanation, is that I love to eat. I rarely say "No" to food. I am all for it. And to be hungry is something I don't want to get in to because "I'm not myself when I'm hungry." ( To quote a Snickers chocolate bar ad. )

So, for obvious reasons I can't go on a "diet" or try to follow one because I know I'd end up not doing it. A few years ago, I put on excess pounds, that got me the moniker "Pooh" and "Panda". I was so fat that I was mistaken for being pregnant. And one time, when I had to buy a shirt and needed a size past large, I was directed to check out the men's section. Embarrassing, I know. But it took me awhile to realize that I need to do something about it.

I get to play with my food and eat it too.

Anyway, I did lose weight. And what drastic moves I did, you wonder. For starters, I didn't "starve" myself. By this, I mean, I didn't skip meals. I even eat more. I think the only thing I did different was I started running. And to have the energy to do so, I need to eat more.

For me, food is too hard to pass up, especially desserts. I have this reasoning that, I should eat and enjoy food while I still can and not worry too much about calories. I'm not saying that I eat like there's no tomorrow or in excess. Of course, there's always the second helping but I know when to stop when I've had enough. Just because I profess to love food and eating, doesn't mean that I'd eat anything there is. I have reservations too, mind you.

I also enjoy an occasional drink or two.

I don't step on the scale every day to check my weight and fuss about it. It's pointless. One thing I know for sure is that, it is nowhere near the ideal weight that I should be in, especially if I want to run faster. Of late, I've been bogged down with this idea---lose weight---just so I can run a bit faster than what I normally do. An acquaintance told me that running is easier when you're lighter. Now, that got me thinking too.

But really, no amount of resolve will stop me from having another slice of cheesecake or a couple more biscuits. Or an extra butter tart or another piece of fruit cake. Perhaps when I get so desperate ( I'm not sure when that will be though.), I'd put blinders on or stuff my nose so I'd be oblivious to the sight and smell in the kitchen.

For now, I'd enjoy food as I can. And run on the side, I guess.:-)

The year that was 2013...lessons learned.

"Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long, stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy the ones most of us lead now, that won't happen. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live." - Anna Quindlen

As evidenced by three filled Moleskine notebooks, I can say that I've been busy with writing last year. It's kind of fun to flip through the pages and get a scribbled ( sometimes, a hasty and sloppy one ) reminder of what transpired on a particular day.

I started writing in a journal, more than a year, after I first arrived in Canada. I find it cathartic, besides, I've always like to write. It gives me an excuse to hone my writing skills. Not to mention,"talking" to myself, without anyone thinking I'm mad.

Before I completely get into 2014 and get silly, like come up with New Year's resolutions ( that I won't follow through ), I thought it'd be a good idea to take a trip down memory lane and reminisced the year that was 2013 and the lessons learned....

One of the things I'm thankful for, is my sister. Our get-together once in awhile is something I always look forward to.

Sometimes, life sucks, but live anyway, rather than just exist.

I have had my fair share of unfavorable events or circumstances ( or whatever you may call them) that at some point made me think of going down the bay and jump in the water. ( I've been warned though, that the water would be cold, especially at this time of the year, so clearly, I have no intention to drown myself.) There are things I've hope for that never came through. I've been disappointed, frustrated, annoyed, angered... ( I've run out of adjectives here. ) But the thing is, I'm still here. For all the crappy stuff that happened in my life, I'm still alive. And for me, that counts for something. I could mope and wallow in self-pity, but I know I won't get anything good out of it. So, I choose to live instead and move on.

Courage is not the absence of fear.

This I found to be true. I've done things where I put up a brave front, when the truth is, I'm a bundle of nerves inside ( sometimes to a point where I get an upset stomach ). I learned that being brave, does not necessarily mean that I'm devoid of fears and uncertainties. The following quote summed it up.

"Courage to me is doing something daring, no matter how afraid, insecure, intimidated, alone, unworthy, incapable, ridiculed or whatever other paralyzing emotion you might feel. Courage is taking action, no matter what. Be afraid. Be scared silly to the point you're trembling and nauseous, but do it anyway!" - Richelle E. Goodrich

Being thankful for everything, either good or bad, goes a long way.

It's hard to feel grateful when things aren't going the way I want them to be. Often, I'd be more inclined to "rant and rave" or turn the music up. ( And this, I'd probably do within the confines of my bedroom, especially the "rant and rave" part, if I ever get to it. ) Or worse, "confront" the powers that be, why He's picking on me. But I realized that, giving thanks despite all the disappointments and frustrations in my life, somehow takes away a bit of the pain and heartache. Being thankful always remind me that no matter how bad my day is or how boring my life seem to be, there's always tomorrow to look forward to.