In two weeks time will be my thirty third birthday. And I'm sure that particular day will just go by like any ordinary day of mine. I plan to go home that day but I don't know if it will push through. I did kid Joy about buying me a bottle of wine ( I don't care what kind ) and I will drink myself to a stupor. No, I'm not depressed or anything. I just want to find out how long will it take before I pass out if I knock back one bottle of wine all by myself. I'm all for experiment...:-)
In an idyllic setting, I will be surrounded with family and friends during that special day. I will be in the middle, feeling all too conscious with all the attention I'm getting, then I will slowly bend over to blow the candles on my cake. Then someone from the group will call out, "Make a wish!"
In my real world, come that day, I will, as always wake up early ( God willing ). Probably, continue on my reading while waiting for the time. Then I will head out to hear mass. I will have my usual coffee then give my folks at home a ring, just to listen to all their birthday wishes for me. I know they will banter about my being 33 and still single. Whatever.
I will not gripe about my birthday or "lack of it". I learned that sometimes wishing for something I can not have won't do anything good to me. On the other hand, I thrive on the feeling of "wanting" or "craving", I guess that's what make it thrilling. And by the time I already have what I crave for, I don't want it anymore. I know it's ironic but I will make an exception for this particular wish---going to NY one day.
There's a lot of stuff I'd want for my birthday ( and mostly for me, who else?). You may not know it but I'm selfish in my own peculiar way. Of course, no amount of wishing on my part, will make it possible for all the things I want, to magically appear, if they're really not meant for me. Still, saying them out loud or writing them down here, somewhat make them, within reach...:-) So, here goes my me-wants-for-birthday list:
- George Orwell novels ( 1984; The Animal Farm)
- Mitch Albom ( Have A Little Faith)
- Suzanne Collins ( The Hunger Games; Catching Fire)
- Moleskin notebook ( though Joy pointed out that this is impractical, I guess she's right )
- new Parker mechanical pencil
- maybe a surrogate, just like in the movie, Surrogates ( okay, just kidding)
I think the above list is an overkill. The first three items are what I'm hoping to read before the end of the year, if possible. But then, if it's not meant to be, no big deal. The
Moleskin notebook, well, it's just something I "crave" and probably by the time I can afford it, I will not be too keen on it anymore. I use the mechanical pencil on my scribbles. With regard to the last item on the list, it stemmed from the time I saw the movie,
Surrogates trailer on TV. I haven't watch the movie, though. I'm not someone important and all, I know that but there are things that a functional human being needs to attend to. Sometimes, I balk at doing it. If things or events can go by without me, then I would prefer it very much if I will be just left alone.
Anyway, as I've mentioned somewhere in this post, I am selfish but I think there's still some redeeming qualities in me. But let's not get to them. Aside for wishing all those above-mentioned stuff for my birthday, I still have other wishes ( this time, not entirely for me) that I hope will come to fruition eventually.
- Good health for my family and friends and of course, for myself ( remember the marathon dream)
- The means to provide for my family
- Revel in the time I spend with them ( no matter how dysfunctional we can get)
- I hope that what I'm looking forward will turn out favorable
- To "Be satisfied. Be grateful.", hopefully.
So much for birthday wishes....