Living with my sister-- the story of our life.

My sister and I come from a big family. There's always noise and chaos. Disagreements and fights were the norm. We practically grew up together. The only time we were apart was when I moved to another city to go to  school. And when she moved to Canada. As luck would have it, four years later, I followed her. I like to think that we're meant to be together in a strange and foreign country. At first, we lived in different places  and only get to hang out during our days off. Back then, we always had this plan to get our own place and live together.

"It's hard to be responsible, adult and sensible all the time. How good it is to have a sister  whose heart is as young as your own." - Pam Brown

Since I moved in with my sister, I have been relegated to certain chores. Of course, we don't need to put it down on paper because we're adults now. I mean, how hard that can be. I am assigned to take out the garbage every week, which I do diligently. The only time my sister has to do it is when I'm not around. I'm responsible for cleaning up after her when she  makes a mess in the kitchen while she cooks. Frankly, I don't mind doing the dishes because I like to do it. Besides, I can't stand dirty stuff left on the kitchen sink for too long. The only downside to this is I get "obsessed" ( as she calls it ) with cleaning up after her, that one time, while she was busy cooking something, I washed a spoon or a dish, only to realized that she still has to used it. She was annoyed and told me to go sit on the couch and watched TV. Like I was an errant child.

My sister and I are opposites. I think it's one of the reasons we get along fine.

I learned how to use a hammer and a screwdriver, not that they're hard to learn. Over the course of a few months, I managed to assemble our tiny dining set ( you know, table and chairs ) and a TV stand, while my sister stood by and gave me directions, from time to time. It took a lot of effort and patience on my part to read the diagram on the small piece of paper that came with all the parts. I blurted a few expletives when I screwed a part the wrong way and had to take them apart again. Fortunately, our friend, Rhea was there to help. If it was just me and my sister, we probably end up punching each other. But I have to say this,  I was quite happy with myself, when I looked at the assembled TV stand and dining set.

"Of two sisters one is always the watcher, one the dancer." - Louise Gluck

We make compromises when we decided to live together. We don't always agree on things. I make it a point to go to bed early especially if I have to work the next day, while my sister on the other hand, like to stay up late, even if she has to get up early the next day. I'm a morning person. I love to get up when its still dark outside ( especially if I don't have to go to work ) and sit in my corner, with a book and coffee. This does not escape my sister's attention and she told me more than once that I'm insane.

My sister and I are different as night and day. She is sophisticated and fashionable dressed, most of the time, while I on the other hand, is the exact opposite. We don't have the perfect relationship. We both have shortcomings and make mistakes. We argue sometimes, about anything---from her taking too long to put on make-up to my unusual ( according to her ) rule of being at work half an hour early. I'm sure she gets angry at me, as I do with her. But the thing is, we don't hold a grudge. And most of the time, we just laugh off at anything, that may have previously annoy us.

Living with my sister may have its ups and downs. But so far, so good. :-)

Coming to Canada.

After countless forms that needs to be filled up and signed and days and months of waiting,  I finally got that piece of paper that says I'm confirmed as a permanent resident of Canada.

It's been four years since I first set foot in this country. I remember seeing the lights of Vancouver for the first time, as the plane prepared to land, and I realized that, there's no turning back.  I had no idea as to what lies ahead of me. It has been a learning experience, as I eased myself  into the Canadian way of life. And I'm still learning every day. I have to remind myself from time to time that I only inhabit a small portion of this country. But to keep it simple, whenever someone ask me where I'm at now, my answer is always, "I'm in Canada."

I am grateful for Mama. I get to go to school and come to Canada. Although, she thinks I'm too serious. :-)

I've always wanted to go to New York for a visit. But I never thought about the possibility that I get to move away from home and live somewhere, a thousand miles away from family and friends, in an entirely different time zone and climate. Coming to Canada has its upside and downside, like everything else in life. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." proves to be true.

People I've met are curious to know if I like it here. I always say that I do. I like the temperate climate. I like the library. Although being away from home is a compromise I have to deal with. I miss my family and the few friends I have, from time to time. And I miss the food. I came from a country where no meal is complete without rice. It took me awhile to get used to eating salads and other kind of vegetables. One day, someone asked me if I cook my own food, I replied no. And she was like, don't you miss it? I told her, I miss it, sometimes. But I learn to adjust and adapt. Besides, my sister cook Filipino food when we hang out.

My sister and I don't agree on a lot of things. But that doesn't change the fact that I learned some things from her, like how to put on a jacket, without having the shirt sleeves all bunched up underneath. :-)

When it was certain that I'd be coming to Canada, I decided to read more about the country to keep myself abreast with what to expect. Let's just say that my reading helped a bit. But still, it didn't prepare me for all the experiences I encountered along the way.  A lot has change for me in the span of four years. I like to think that coming to Canada made me a better person. It made me more responsible. Being here made me look at my family in a different light and appreciate them. Then I learned how to drive and got my driver's license. I  get to run a marathon. I had the opportunity to work for three different wonderful elderly ladies, whom impacted my life in ways I didn't expect. No amount of reading could have prepared me, for the experience  and realization ( which came later )-- that I am capable of caring for another person. That I can be emotionally invested in someone. And I don't mean this, in the sense of just doing my job. That I will learn to like animals, especially Moxie and Nakita, and sometimes, prefer their company. That coming to Canada would test my patience, when one day, I had to stand in the rain, while I wait for the bus. And on another occasion literally ran after one.

Dennis and Rita make my life easier. I am and will always be thankful. 

Before you doze off and fall flat on your face while reading this, I'll bring this post to an end by saying a word of thanks to the people who make it possible for me to be here.  I can't take all the credit for having survived in a foreign country, that's altogether different from the one where I was born and grew up. I owe it to all the generous and kind people I have had the privilege of meeting. It's worth mentioning that without my aunt ( whom we call Mama ), I wouldn't be in Canada right now. Even if we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, it won't discount the fact that she  made it possible for me to come here. To my sister, who made it easier for me to adjust to my new life here, even if sometimes, she drives me crazy. And most of all, I wouldn't be able to comply with the requirements to become a permanent resident if not for Mary, Nora and Nancy and their respective families. They trusted me and welcomed me in their homes.

Hey, brother and sister.

"I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." - Maya Angelou

There was a time, especially during high school, when I used to be embarrassed whenever someone asked me questions like, "How many are you in the family?' or "How many brothers and sisters do you have?' I was like, not again. Now, when someone ask me these same questions, my reply to the first would be a brief "Nine." and the latter would take a considerable time while I do the math then I'd say, "I have six sisters and two brothers. And I'm the eldest." Both of my answers would be met with surprise or a "Wow" reaction. And I'm like, yes, tell me about it.

I still can't figure out how my mother ever managed to have nine kids. While growing up, I remembered her being pregnant, then she'd be gone for a few days and when she came back home, she'd have a baby in her arms. I have never seen her in labor or wailing and mouthing off expletives ( just like shown in the movies or TV shows ) because she was in pain. When I was old enough to know what was going on, the arrival of a new baby, like every couple of years or so, has lost its appeal. I started to ask questions and resented the fact that our family kept growing. Of course, my questions were ignored. I heard talks that my parents wanted to have a son, so that was it. True enough, after seven daughters, my two brothers arrived and that's how we get to be nine.

"Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago — the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn’t seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we’ve traveled." - Jane Mersky Leder

Once, someone told me that it must be fun to be in a big family. I thought about that remark for a long time. I think it depends on how you define "fun".  It was never fun for me, at least back then. Everything has to be shared equally and to the last bit or else there'd be "war". My mother has become adept at making sure that food was divided in equal portions,  among us kids. I remembered a particular incident, when she had to forgo her share because one of my younger sister or brother ( I can't remember anymore ) wanted more of something. As I watched her silently, I realized then, that she's not just some woman who had babies all the time. She's our "Nanay" and will always be.

I grew up knowing that I have to keep myself in line and have to set a good example for my younger siblings. My parents didn't have to talk to me about this but it was assumed and I figured that since I'm the eldest, it is expected of me. There were times that I wish I have an older brother or sister. And even now, I still think how nice it would be to have an older sibling.  Wishful thinking, I suppose.

"Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring — quite often the hard way."- Pamela Dugdale

One day, my brother and I had the chance to chat on Facebook and after the usual exchange of Hi's and How are you's, we get to talk about things, way back when he was younger. He reminded me how ill-tempered I was and how scared they were when I get angry. And I thought to myself, he remembers.  One time when I found out that my mother was pregnant for the eighth time, I gave her the cold shoulder. I didn't talk to her for a few days but I also looked up baby boy names, secretly. I wasn't sure if it was just pure coincidence, my mother gave birth to a baby boy. They were all happy. I was happy. A few years after that, another baby boy arrived. For some reason, I doted on my younger brothers. When I was away at school, I used to save part of my allowance so I could buy presents for them when I come home for a visit. Too bad they both didn't get to spend a lot of time with our father because he passed away too soon.

"Our siblings. They resemble us just enough to make all their differences confusing, and no matter what we choose to make of this, we are cast in relation to them our whole lives long." - Susan Scarf Merrell

I don't see my younger siblings as often now since I moved away from home. We don't talk much. They're miles away, they may as well be in a different world. But whenever we do get to talk, I am transported back in time and sometimes, it feels like I've never left.

One day, while I watched the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen", I thought about my brothers and sisters and was inspired to write. Hence, this post. I guess the movie reminded me of them, who knows.