...108 things you didn't know about me...

I come across this blog with a post entitled "101 things you didn't know about me". I have a "25 things you didn't know about me" list on Facebook.

It's quite tedious coming up a list of things other people don't know about you (besides I think they really don’t care). But just for fun, I decided to come up with this. I was tempted to follow the 101 list but to add some personal flair in it, I make it 108. Wonder where I get that number?

1. When all is said and done, my family is all I ever have.

2. I'm a foodie. I just love to eat. FOOD is my weakness.

3. I'm a morning person. I'm used to getting out of bed before the sun is up. I'm usually up and about at 4 in the morning.

4. I regret not knowing my father that well before it was too late.

5. Sometimes, I miss my grandmother.

6. My favorite girls: AJ and Mokang

7. I drink occasionally but not to the point of getting so inebriated except for that one time when I ended spending the night at a friend's place. That was my first encounter with tequila.

8. Whenever I enter any Starbucks coffee shop, I always sing "Heaven...I'm in Heaven" but only in my mind. I just love the smell of coffee and I'm hopelessly addicted to caffeine.

9. I always dream of going to New York City someday. Hope that someday is not that far-off.

10. Scrapbooking is where I unleash my so-called creative side.

11. Lately I find myself interested in photography. I take pictures mostly of my nieces and of anything that strikes my fancy.

12. I like early morning shower.

13. I like the lead character in the BONES TV show, Dr. Temperance Brennan. I wish I am as intelligent as her.

14. I'm the T-shirt, jeans and sneakers type. No frilly, tight-fitting stuff for me.

15. If I have the means to splurge then it will be on BOOKS. I go nuts over them. My favorite place in the mall is the bookstores.

16. I'm very particular with time.

17. I used to do kickboxing and sprained my right hand and left foot in the process. Those were the days....

18. I'm a homebody and only go out when I really need to. I'm not much of a party-goer.

19. Sometimes, I can be indifferent and sarcastic.

20. I love to watch movies (a horror flick is not for me though).

21. I like to watch the sunrise and sunset. Clear blue skies during good weather.

22. I'm also into music. I listen to whatever that suits me. I like Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

23. I took a course in college to be a bean counter but I don't work as one.

24. I'm afraid of thunderstorms.

25. "I'm wary of relationships." - Dr. Temperance Brennan

26. I am conservative. I still believe that couples should only consummate their relationship after marriage.

27. I realized that this does not hold true anymore nowadays.

28. During my elementary years, I dreamed about becoming an astronaut.

29. In high school, I thought about working as a Walt Disney animator.

30. I took and failed in the CPA board exam four times.

31. I finally recognize that giving up does not necessarily mean surrendering.

32. I don't like to watch Tagalog teleseryes on TV.

33. I prefer foreign films and TV shows.

34. I've been in only one relationship. I got into it just to see how it felt to be in one.

35. I really don't comprehend what LOVE is and why there is so much hype about it.

36. I don't like going to hospitals.

37. Watching House on TV made me think how cool it is to be a doctor.

38. I am boring.

39. If it’s up to me, I'd rather be alone all the time.

40. I find it annoying when people are nosy.

41. I'm into running.

42. The longest distance I've run in a race was 10K.

43. I am shy.

44. That is the reason I don't have many friends.

45. Someone made a comment that I am autistic.

46. Sometimes, I think that it's hard to be different.

47. I did not cry when we laid our father to rest.

48. It was only days later, when I could finally be alone.

49. I don't see myself getting married.

50. Luckily, I'm not expected to.

51. I can sleep while sitting especially if I'm too exhausted.

52. I hoard books.

53. My usual breakfast, either a bowl of cold cereal or oatmeal.

54. I always try to cry in private.

55. Someone told me I'm smart but until now, I'm still looking proof of that.

56. I don't wear shorts.

57. I don't have a single dress in my wardrobe.

58. I make up excuses to avoid meeting new people.

59. I wish I can pretend to be outgoing and interesting.

60. I'm always broke.

61. I can easily fall for people who are nice to me.

62. I'm not religious.

63. I wonder why some people choose not to believe in God.

64. At some point during my fascination of John Grisham's novels, I was entertaining the idea of taking up law.

65. I named my nephew, Tristan, after the name of the male lead character in the movie "Stardust."

66. I can't cook.

67. I prefer to do my own laundry.

68. My bedroom is messy.

69. I like singing Dora's song, "We did it!”

70. I have only two brothers.

71. I was very nervous when I rode on a plane for the second time.

72. I don't know how to swim.

73. I've read all seven books in the Harry Potter series.

74. I drooled over the display of washboard abs in the movie "300".

75. I'm a fan of Lea Salonga.

76. I hoard coffee mugs.

77. I perspire a lot.

78. I like watching National Geographic's Air Crash Investigation.

79. For a time, I was a fan of Guns n' Roses.

80. I like ice cream.

81. I plan to have a children’s party for my birthday.

82. My favorite cartoon characters, Pooh and Kung Fu panda.

83. I don't carry a purse or a bag when I go out.

84. I've read all four books in the Twilight saga.

85. For me, the late Kurt Cobain epitomizes cool and grunge-look.

86. I think Philippine politics sucks.

87. I'm wary of people who talks a lot.

88. If I'm meant to be in love, I'd like to fall for someone like Booth.

89. I like collecting wristwatches. Though at the present, I have only six.

90. I seldom get angry but when I do....

91. I like reading Housisms. I even quote some of them. Here's a sample. "I'm physically incapable of being polite."-House

92. I have discovered that peanut butter and banana is a perfect combo.

93. I like tofu.

94. I believe having children is a very huge responsibility.

95. I don't wear high heels.

96. I'm afraid to speak in front of an audience.

97. I like anonymity.

98. I am thinking of cooking breakfast for my folks at home. (It’s still a plan, though)

99. I grow up surrounded with a lot of children.

100. I like listening to Dies Irae.

101. Whenever I listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, it seems that time stands still.

102. I am halfway to reading all five novels of Dan Brown.

103. I feel suffocated when I’m in the midst of a huge crowd.

104. I like running a lot even though I run very slowly.

105. I plan to run in a marathon before I reached the age of 40 (God willing).

106. My younger siblings give me the nickname “panda” after they saw the movie Kung Fu Panda.

107. I got very nervous the first time I held a Nikon SLR camera. Another dream: Nikon D90 camera.

108. It took me days to finally complete this list. Whew!!

..."are you one of us?"...

Talk about belonging into something exclusive and have a sense of security. Man has always been in the pursuit of making something of himself, hoping that it will grant him access to some elite group whom he feels and thinks that he identifies with. Sometimes, we are so hell-bent to belong that we somehow lose in touch with our real selves. We ended doing things we deem right if only to earn approval from among our peers. It's always a nice thought to belong with someone or with something for that matter, but hopefully, we will not be so blind to just "follow and obey", that we tend to forget using our common sense and let others do the thinking for us. Belonging should not be equated with exclusivity and prejudice. After all, what's the use of feeling the need to unite each and every one of us when we ourselves do things to put a wedge of misunderstanding amongst us.

...healing wounds...

"Time is not a great healer. It is an indifferent and perfunctory one. Sometimes it does not heal at all. And sometimes when it seems to, no healing has been necessary."
Ivy Compton-Burnett

With all the intricacies of life, we are always put in a position wherein we get hurt along the way. No matter how hard we may try to avoid disagreements, still we are caught in the vicious cycle of every day living. A loved one may have betrayed our trust; a close friend let us down; a goal that was not achieved and the list will go on. No one can say that he or she has never experienced pain. For how can we say that we fully lived if we just go through the motions, numb and dead to the world around us. Human as we are, we still manage to find a way to rise above all those emotional baggage that brought us down. We refused to wallow in defeat but we licked our wounds and try to put up a good fight.

Healing can be in any different forms for each and every one of us. For some, the passage of time, help them cope up with the pain and moved on. Unfortunately, some turn to drugs and alcohol to stifle all their pains, never realizing or refusing to recognize the fact that, once the effects of alcohol and drugs wears off, they're back to square one. Others experienced pain so much, that they are scarred for life and for them, the only way to assuage the hurt they had endure is to have revenge.

I have been hurt in my life, sometimes at my own doing. I have heard about the familiar line that says "forgive and forget". I can forgive but it does not mean I will forget all about it. I handle pain in the only way I know how----not caring and acceptance. For how can someone or something hurt me if in the first place, I am indifferent to them and I am aware of the fact that, in one way or another, someone or something out there is bound to hurt me. Some say, time heals all wounds. I don't really buy that. Time does not heal the wounds. It just make you think, that instead of wallowing in self-pity and grief, you accept it once and for all and move on.

...if being DIFFERENT is an abomination...

"We're frightened of what makes us different."-Anne Rice

I do my hair the same way for as long as I can remember since I started sporting a long 'do. I wear the same type of shirts and jeans. I don't do make-up and I am repulse to the idea of donning on a dress. ( weird?) I've been this way since I was little. I never thought that it would cause some untoward comments coming from prying eyes. I relate to people in a certain way that oftentimes construed as I am shy or something ( If they only know what's on my mind) I don't do small talk if I don't need to. I always try to follow Law # 4. I avoid attention at all cost because I abhor it. I'm good at being invisible ( of course, not physically) and retreating to my own world. Yes, I've been told that I am different because I don't do stuff others generally do. I don't gush over "teleserye" like normal people do. If I am to chose, I prefer spending my time with a good book than making perfunctory remarks I really don't mean. Of course, I'm not saying that I'm against what others are doing but it doesn't mean I want to be in it. In our society, there is always the consensus that we, in some way or another, should try to forge our conformity to what is expected from us. I'm not saying I'm all for breaking the law, no I'm not like that. I'm still a law-abiding citizen. Being different does not necessarily mean you run amok. To be different is just that---DIFFERENT. And I guess there's no reason for one to fret about it. I've learned to get used to hearing comments about me "being like this and not like that". Well, people are always bound to make remarks ( myself included), the trick there is how not to let it get to you. ( I've heard a comment about me which prompted this post, how's that for not letting it get to you?)....

"If being DIFFERENT is an abomination then, all the more reason to be one."

...it's past the "marry month" of June, why are you still single?...

As I was channel-surfing(is there such a term?) this morning, I came across the replay of the TV show TalkBack in ANC( Channel 20). Talk shows are not really my thing, so I proceeded to changed channels until I went back to it . It was at this time that I noticed the title of this episode which was flash on the TV screen "it's the 'marry month' of June, why are you still single?". I surmised that it was aired last month, hence the part of the title "marry month"of June, but what really caught my attention was the rest of the title, the statement or should I say, the question "why are you still single?" That put me on hold for a moment and thus made me watch the show ( too bad, I already missed half of it).
Why, indeed, am I still single? Is it because, I'm so ugly that a prospective BF will not be proud to show me off ( or as my sister would say "dili masuroy og plaza"); or because I'm so fat that he will be hesitant to take me out to dinner because I might destroy one of the chairs in the restaurant( remember the movie,Shallow Hal)? Or maybe because I am more muscular than him? (..mmm.. let me think about this for a moment..I'm not really muscular but I'm not slim either). Probably because, I don't wear make-up or wear clothes that borders on being nude? Or is it because I don't have a plunging neckline to show off but only a bulging tummy like Pooh? I could list all the probable reasons why I am still single but only one thing will hold true for me, its because I like being single, period. For the most part, it is by choice( Hopefully). And fortunately, I am not pressured by my family to get hitched at all costs(?). I am in my early thirties and here in the Philippines, it is already considered by some as past the marrying age. The "know-it-all" group of individuals would brand you as someone who did not make it to the "last trip".In all my 30+ years of life, getting married has never entered my mind.( and it is for this reason, that I am viewed as 'different' from the rest of the"get married and settle down" pack). I once had a relationship and it was okay but I was not really into it. As my younger brother, bluntly pointed it out, "i was using the guy as my "key holder" ( yeah, very bad of me. last time I heard, he's married now). I am not against those people who are married or in the verge of getting married, good for them. But I just realized early on, that its not for me.
I am single because....

• I relish the feeling of just being with myself
• I take pleasure in doing what I want and whenever I want without having to consult with or ask permission from anyone
• I'm not good at compromising
• Maybe, I am selfish and I don't want to be responsible for someone else's life or emotions
• I don't want to be in situations where I have to put up appearances ( just to earn brownie points from the in-laws)
• I still have many goals to pursue
• I'm not really good at relationships ( at least with another human being)
• I don't want to go with the flow...

The list will be too long to mention so I just opted to enumerate some of it. It's a no-brainer if anyone would decide to be single. What makes it intricate is the people surrounding us and the society we thrive in, in general. In one way or another, we tend to toe the line with what society imposed on us, to avoid being labeled as different and to the point of compromising our sense of being. Anyway, we all have a choice and its up to us to decide. As for me, being single suits me fine and to those who believe otherwise, its your opinion, you're entitled to it....

...in love?...(who are you kidding?)...

A lot has been told about love, and probably more so to come with the changing times. Love is most often the subject of novels, in movies, music, poetry and the list would go on forever. It has been describe in almost every way imaginable. For the romantics, especially with the women, they often referred "in love" as being sweep off their feet or instant connection or better yet love at first sight. Some would confessed that they have met their soul mates ( that's why they are in love) or they found the one they are sure to spend the rest of their lives with ( but then, reality sinks in and they realized they're not really in love, hence, the divorce or separation). Worst, some would go to the extent of mistaking stupidity for love and use the excuse of being "in love" to agree to met a total stranger and sleep with them. I'm not sure how to say this, but probably, I'm the most unfortunate individual because I haven't been "in love"( not in the real sense anyway, which is a far cry from what most people professed to feeling towards their "loved" ones). It's pretty easy to utter this magic phrase "I love you" without really meaning it. For some men, using this magic phrase has allowed them to get to 'first base" with a least amount of effort and for most women ( no offense), hearing this magic phrase is like a balm to soothe over their fragile views of themselves that borders on absurdity and make them willing participants on acts that is one among many others, tainted concept of love. Thus, the unwanted pregnancies and eventually, abortion. As for me, I don't want to be "in love", rather I want to love and hopefully, with a grain of reality added in. When it happens, it happen. No need to rush things...

...sex video scandal..(really..is it?)

Another juicy topic circulating in the local news nowadays is the sex videos of a certain doctor and a string of sexy "actresses" that fall on his ploy. One particular sexy "actress" decided to come out and lodged a complaint against the doctor. Other showbiz people showed their support and sympathy on the distress sexy actress. Come to think of it, this is not news anymore. The reason this bit came up because the involved people happened to be "public" personalities. Filipinos are so hype on gossips, I guess they thrive on it. The local media is abuzz with this and probably have an all-out effort to fan the flames and make this a full-blown piece of crap. The doctor in question cited unstable mental health. Yeah right, Doc, blame it on the brain...who are you kidding?