...i'm only unhappy when it rains....

It was raining last night, so Joy and I decided to forgo our morning jog for the next day. Reluctantly, I agreed at first. I was still hoping that the rain will be cut short. I kept opening the door a slight to checked if the rain has stop. To my dismay, it haven't. Joy told me that the track will be wet and there will be puddles of water everywhere. I nodded in agreement. I'm not really partial to jogging when there's a chance that my shoes will get wet( not that I care about my shoes so much, I just don't like the feel it evokes in me when I'm jogging on wet shoes) An hour later, I checked again and somehow the rain showed no sign of letting up. Finally, we agreed not to head out this morning. I ended up going to bed two hours later from my usual bedtime( which was 9 PM). I woke up with a start this morning. I was dreaming and I could not remember anymore what it was all about. I glanced at my watch, it was already quarter to 6 in the morning. I slowly pushed the curtains aside a little bit and look outside. I was pretty sure the rain stopped last night. Maybe after I've fallen asleep. I'm kind of disappointed while I got out of bed slowly and head to the shower. So much for good intentions...

...not a book review...

...wishing I was there?...mmm..not really...

In between my "running" preoccupation, my livelihood and just lounging in bed when I'm free, I have another kick-ass( at least to me anyway) diversion and that is no other than..READING. I love reading and I'm quite proud to admit it. From our sporadic trips to BookSale, Joy has bought me books again--two actually. One is from my fave author Barbara Taylor Bradford and the other one is entitled Into Thin Air. I purposely managed to finish reading the first book so I have ample time to dilly-dally on the second one, which what I intended at the start. I've been watching this show on Discovery Channel entitled Everest: Beyond the Limit( actually I think they are reruns since I learned from my research on the Internet that the climb occurred previously, somewhere between 2006 and 2007). I was fascinated with the show especially with the way the climbers had to contend to everything that was a factor in their successful bid to climb Mt. Everest. I remembered one time, watching the show and it focused on one climber who finally reached the summit. He was dumbfounded. I felt goosebumps on my arms and I was thinking to myself, what would it feel to be actually there---on the summit---looking at the vast expanse around you. Attempting and finally reaching the peak of Mt. Everest is a huge ordeal and people have died trying, hoping to add their names to the list of those who successfully conquer the tallest mountain.
When I saw the book at BookSale, I hurriedly scanned the pages and read the back portion of the cover. Right there and then, I felt the urge to buy it. (though it was Joy who paid for it). If I can't be there actually, at least, I can relived the experience of the author in his quest to climb Mt. Everest. At the moment, I'm halfway through the book. I intend to finish it before the month is out. Reading always give me the "high" that is in some way similar to what I feel after every jog..

...a story about love, friendship and life...

...here we go again...

After a 3-day lull in my morning routine, I went at it again this morning. I planned just to walk briskly on the track but after two laps, I told Joy that we can jog so we give it a go. It felt good actually, despite the throbbing pain on my right foot. I like how the wind brush against my face while I'm running, beads of perspiration trickling down my forehead and sometimes, I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Somehow, the thought of gasping for breath appeals to me in a way, it makes me feel that I'm alive( probably this sound a cliche). Maybe, its another reason why I don't mind waking up so early in the morning just to have my jog. This activity give me a respite from what's going on around me on a daily basis. When I run, I just can be alone with my thoughts and just feel. Besides, I have another 5K race to tackle this Sunday so I need the workout to hopefully improve my time. And I say this with all the conviction I can muster..:-)

...new route...

...another 5K....

After going through the rigors of running a 5K in the Milo Marathon, I was convinced that I can run. With proper and consistent training, I believe I can improve my time and my performance. That thought in mind, I decided to signed up for another 5K. I'm not trying to get ahead of myself. Somehow getting into this "hobby" is worth it, despite the pain I felt, it did not matter. Anyway, this coming Sunday, I will be pounding on the streets again....

...feel the pain...

As customary, I went to bed early last night. I intended to jog this morning. Weird as it is, it took me awhile before I finally dozed off to dreamland. When my alarm buzzed off, I just reached for it and sleepily pressed the snooze button. I thought that after 15 minutes, I will be able to wake up again but it was not the case. I sleep through till there was already light outside. I missed my morning jog...I pulled the blanket closer and went back to sleep. The throbbing pain on my right leg is still present. I have to limp whenever I go up and down the stairs. Its annoying and somehow, just make me want to lay in bed all the time. I searched on the Internet about possible injuries induced by running ( or in my case, jogging). So far, nothing came up that comes close to what I'm experiencing right now. I'm kind of anxious about this because I have signed up for another 5k race. I guess its a coincidence that I missed my morning jog so I can let me legs rest longer. With a bit of luck, the pain will abate come race day...

...hope this will make it tolerable...

...I even resorted to this...

...so I'm fat..big deal...

...eat up...

Whenever I met people whom I haven't seen in ages, the usual remark I get from them always goes like this.."Midako lagi ka 'ta.." ( translation: you got fat..) And my ready response is always.."Yeah right, I just can't help myself when it comes to food.."( of course, I say this in our dialect) My being "fat" has always been the constant subject of jokes between me and my nieces. I've been called Pooh and Po Panda. For some weird way, I kind of like it though. I've always been partial to food ( in whatever form it come as long it's not going to make me vomit..that will not be a pretty sight) I just can't say no to it. My affair with food is evidenced by my thickening waistline. Since I quit going to the gym, getting "fat" is effortless. Starving myself to shed off those extra pounds has never entered my mind ( I'm not a lunatic).

...pasta it is...

...i am serious...

proof of that

What started out as just a "to ease my back pain" activity became a full-blown fixation. Sure, I got tired after every morning trip to the track. I got so sweaty and all that it looked like I had just been from the shower with clothes on. Now that's really not appealing to look at but I couldn't care less. Nothing beats the feeling of gratification after every jog( for now). The nagging pain on my right foot is always there, like some device that tries to slow me down and eventually make me throw up my hands in surrender. Fortunately, I'm not that easy to defeat. I kept pushing on even if it means I have to bite my lower lip just to keep the pain at bay. (seriously, its not that painful..I just want to be distracted)...:-)

...another 5K to conquer...

After a day's rest from the "grueling" pounding my legs had to suffer last Sunday, I was my back for my usual jaunt at the track. I woke up the same time this morning and proceeded to do my walk/jog thing. I was only able to jog for one full lap. My legs buckled under me( especially the right foot). I decided to give it time so I just walk. I still need to work more to improving myself before I can finally call myself a "runner". Anyway, after the Milo 5k race, I signed up again for another 5K this coming July 19. I have at least more than a week time to prepare for it. I'm really getting the hang of this sport...I am addicted to it already which is not bad thing...:-)

...run like...

Finishing the 5K race yesterday is somewhat a significant event for me. I mean, I never even think about joining any race, much less a very well-documented annual race in the country. Not until I started jogging every morning. And true enough, I discovered that I fare well under physical stress. Since it was my first time , I take note of certain points that I need to do or improve, to properly transform myself into a runner( wait..did I just wrote down the word RUNNER?..wishful thinking?) Seriously, I have aspirations to be eventually called a runner---of course, not the likes of those Kenyan runners.Though the idea is tempting, I'm content if I will be able to run at a specified distance under considerable period of time. And it will mean something to me, big time. Now that I finally find something I am so into, hopefully I will be in it for the long run...

...we did it...

Last night, I lie restless in bed. I prepped myself to turn in early and I readied my T-shirt( with the bib number attached already) and other stuff. While staring at the dark ceiling, a myriad of thoughts raced through my mind. Most of it were about the race. What if I overslept? What if I can't hear my alarm? What if my foot hurts? What if I chickened out at the last minute? A lot of what ifs. I intended to sleep early but it turned out I wasn't able to until it was already past 11 PM and to make matters worst, I kept waking up in the middle of the night, at every hour. I was like, of all time to be restless, why it has to be now, pre-race jitters I supposed--for a first timer, it was hell. At last, I drifted off to sleep and for what it seemed like a very short time, my alarm buzzed. I was reluctant to get out of bed. My eyes were still heavy with sleep. It felt good to linger in bed and snuggled deep under the warmth of my blanket. After a few minutes, I got up and drank a half glass of water. I took a shower and got dressed. I consumed my usual grub of "Gatorade and banana" combo. I watched a little bit of TV while I munched on my banana. Then afterwards, I went down to Joy's room to woke her up. I was not sure about the exact time the race will start, so headed out early. When we got to the designated starting line, it was crazy( too harsh a word to use?) People were milling around mostly garbed in green- the Milo Marathon T-shirt. Then I heard someone announced where the 5K participants will check in. Joy and I got into a slight argument as to how to get there at the least possible time. ( not the time to argue). A large crowd met us, mostly students from different universities. I was worried for a moment that there might be a stampede because of the huge crowd. We were standing on the sides while waiting for the race to start. Then Joy needed to go to the bathroom, good thing, we were nearby CNU and the guard allowed her to use the CR inside the school campus. While waiting for her, I was doing some light stretches. I was silently praying that my right foot won't be bothering me during the race.

...at the finish line..at last...

To make my narrative short, the starting gun was fired for the 5K race. The crowd was slowly easing forward. Some were shouting cheers. Others were raising their hands. For the first few minutes of the race, some of the participants were just walking. There was no room for you to start jogging. I was slightly annoyed with the people around me. We have to squeezed in between groups who opted to just saunter along. Some students would run past by then stopped suddenly. We had to maneuver hard in order not to bump with someone. Joy and I agreed to jog side by side but it was not possible. Most of the time, we had to make room by passing over those who just walked. Twice, I lost sight of her in the sea of green moving figures. Halfway through the race we managed to find a space where we can jog at a comfortable pace. ( Note: I was not to able to jog completely for the entire duration of the race. I had to take walk-breaks in between).
At long last, after pounding on the pavement for almost an hour, the end was near in sight. I was keen to keep on jogging until the finish line but I had to cut it short due to the throbbing pain on my right foot. So I just walked for awhile then proceeded to jog again until we entered Abellana then up to the finish line. I kept telling Joy "we did it" ( like Dora's song). When I glanced at the time, it was 1 hour and 21 minutes. Joy said that there time is incorrect, she insisted that we jogged for less than an hour. Well, I'll just wait for them to publish the official results online. I was happy to finish the race..kind of smug happy( just kidding). I feel satisfied that I decided to do something out of my comfort zone and it does feel good. Now I understand the real meaning of a "runner's high" or in my case, "jogger's high"....

...Joy and me after the race...

...it's past the "marry month" of June, why are you still single?...

As I was channel-surfing(is there such a term?) this morning, I came across the replay of the TV show TalkBack in ANC( Channel 20). Talk shows are not really my thing, so I proceeded to changed channels until I went back to it . It was at this time that I noticed the title of this episode which was flash on the TV screen "it's the 'marry month' of June, why are you still single?". I surmised that it was aired last month, hence the part of the title "marry month"of June, but what really caught my attention was the rest of the title, the statement or should I say, the question "why are you still single?" That put me on hold for a moment and thus made me watch the show ( too bad, I already missed half of it).
Why, indeed, am I still single? Is it because, I'm so ugly that a prospective BF will not be proud to show me off ( or as my sister would say "dili masuroy og plaza"); or because I'm so fat that he will be hesitant to take me out to dinner because I might destroy one of the chairs in the restaurant( remember the movie,Shallow Hal)? Or maybe because I am more muscular than him? (..mmm.. let me think about this for a moment..I'm not really muscular but I'm not slim either). Probably because, I don't wear make-up or wear clothes that borders on being nude? Or is it because I don't have a plunging neckline to show off but only a bulging tummy like Pooh? I could list all the probable reasons why I am still single but only one thing will hold true for me, its because I like being single, period. For the most part, it is by choice( Hopefully). And fortunately, I am not pressured by my family to get hitched at all costs(?). I am in my early thirties and here in the Philippines, it is already considered by some as past the marrying age. The "know-it-all" group of individuals would brand you as someone who did not make it to the "last trip".In all my 30+ years of life, getting married has never entered my mind.( and it is for this reason, that I am viewed as 'different' from the rest of the"get married and settle down" pack). I once had a relationship and it was okay but I was not really into it. As my younger brother, bluntly pointed it out, "i was using the guy as my "key holder" ( yeah, very bad of me. last time I heard, he's married now). I am not against those people who are married or in the verge of getting married, good for them. But I just realized early on, that its not for me.
I am single because....

• I relish the feeling of just being with myself
• I take pleasure in doing what I want and whenever I want without having to consult with or ask permission from anyone
• I'm not good at compromising
• Maybe, I am selfish and I don't want to be responsible for someone else's life or emotions
• I don't want to be in situations where I have to put up appearances ( just to earn brownie points from the in-laws)
• I still have many goals to pursue
• I'm not really good at relationships ( at least with another human being)
• I don't want to go with the flow...

The list will be too long to mention so I just opted to enumerate some of it. It's a no-brainer if anyone would decide to be single. What makes it intricate is the people surrounding us and the society we thrive in, in general. In one way or another, we tend to toe the line with what society imposed on us, to avoid being labeled as different and to the point of compromising our sense of being. Anyway, we all have a choice and its up to us to decide. As for me, being single suits me fine and to those who believe otherwise, its your opinion, you're entitled to it....

...will I ever...

Since I started the walk/jog thing, I admit that I'm captivated by it. I don't do this just for the sake of doing it. I've been jogging sporadically since I transferred to this place. I've raised all kind of excuses before for missing my morning jog. Just recently, I was reintroduced to it. I used to complain about some discomfort in my lower back. I suspected that it was from sitting too long in front of the computer without even bothering to do some simple stretches. So I decided to jog again but since, I'm going back to zero, I started walking then gradually move to walk/jog. And so far, I don't feel the same discomfort again, except with my legs( I guess its expected but then its another story). For the past month, jogging has been part of my daily routine (never mind the waking up early in the morning part). And to top that, I signed up for the 33rd Milo Marathon, which will be happening two days from now. This will be my first ever race and I'm so excited to the point of keeping mum about it. Innumerable thoughts about the race are churning in my mind. I'm really going out of my comfort zone for this event. I'm aware that there will be a huge crowd this Sunday plus I'm putting myself under stress. For a newbie like me, 5 kilometers is no mean feat. This is "do or die" for me ( not literally of course). My baptism of fire, so to speak...

...remembering July...

Snippets of a certain man whom I happen to spend a certain portion of my life with. These are things about him that will always be a part of me and my family...

• His real name was Benjamin but since he was born in the month of July, his folks decided to gave him the nickname "July". He was known by that moniker all his life and until he died.
• He managed to have nine children, seven girls and two boys. He remained married to his wife until his death.
• He was not into vices except smoking. He smoked a lot despite the repeated pleas of his wife and other concerned people, for him to quit smoking. Their pleas fell on deaf ears. There was only one time that I saw him drunk, but he just slept it off (unlike his older brother who goes into "ranting" mode when intoxicated).
• He loved to eat sinugba(grilled) na bulis(a type of fish). It was always his request. Months after he died, my aunt could not bring herself to buy those fish because it will remind him of "...July.."
• He worked as a driver/messenger/janitor at a bank. One day, he came home and tossed something at me. Clumsy as I am, I fumbled to get hold of it. When I saw what it was, I was very happy---a Parker ball pen. He told me that he saw it while he was cleaning the office. I did not care--it came from him besides it's a Parker. I still use the ball pen up to this day.
• He liked to drink coffee. Its always been a part of his morning routine. I guess I got it from him my hankering for coffee too.
• He always had this loud booming voice when he got angry.
• He loved movies and religiously watched the local news.
• He grew up not knowing his father because his father died when he was still small.
• He accompanied me during my enrollment for college.
• He willingly slide with me when I got terrified even if it made him look ridiculous( I described this in detail in one of my previous post)
• My grandmother doted on him.

Today is to be his 60th birthday. He died three years ago. A week from now, to be exact, will be his 3rd death anniversary. I happen to know all these things about him because this man whom known to his friends and family as "July" was also the only man I ever called "Tatay"....

...get going...

Our plan to jog on the road this morning did not push through. We decided to jog on the track. As usual, we did our 1 lap walk warm-up. Joy suggested that we'll run ( as in real "run") half of the track, which I agreed to at once. And off we go. At the end, my heart was beating like crazy and I was gasping for air. Perspiration trickled down my face. And boy, it felt good. The pain on my foot was tolerable at the moment. We did that for a couple of more times then opted to walk the rest of the way and till it was time to go home. Three more days to go till race day. It has been more than a month since Joy and me started this morning activity( walk/jog in my case). I have no qualms about getting up early so long as I don't miss my morning jog. I gradually transform from the "more walking" type to the "more jogging, less walking" type( which what I was aiming for initially). Signing up to join a 5K race is the most audacious thing I've ever done. It is also my way of putting myself to the test, in terms of endurance. I want to know how far can I go and come Sunday, I will know...

"Take a look at any school playground, see anyone jogging? Next time you lace up, take a cue from our tiny-tot brethren. Run like an animal."

...counting the days...

I could not barely hear the slow beep my cellphone made, good thing that I was able to wake up at once.( note to self:revert to the previous tone for the alarm) Since missing yesterday's jog, I was looking forward to this morning. To my dismay, I wasn't able to retire at my usual time last night. A friend was invited to a dinner and I was asked to tag along. 9 PM is early for some people. When we got home, it was already past 9. After doing some stuff, I hurriedly went to bed. Thankfully, I was able to sleep immediately. By the time my alarm went off, I still felt very sleepy since I had only 5 hours worth of sleep. I felt sluggish when I arrived at the track. Halfway through the second lap, I decided to stop. I was huffing and puffing like crazy, which I really don't like. Another thing that bugged me is the on & off pain on my right foot. Ironic though, that I can only feel the pain when I'm resting but during my jog, I don't feel a thing ( or probably just don't want to feel it) This has really got me worrying. Its only four more days till the race day....After a couple of laps, I headed home. I'm thinking of doing my jog on the road tomorrow( hopefully). I'm aware that the track is different from the pavement so I'm trying to get a feel of what to expect on the race, in terms how my legs will handle the pavement.