Monday, September 27, 2010

...family, how do I love thee, let me not count the ways...

"Isang Kahig, Labing Isang Tuka", I saw this show on the TFC channel at the incessant prodding of my aunt. She told me that while watching the show, it reminded her of  my mother and all of us, the nine children.

Yes, we are nine in the family. I used to be embarrassed when anyone ask how many siblings I have. I learned to improvise and I always have the ready answer "isa ka batalyon" ( translation "nine"). I did this to abort any further query. And the one asking would just give me an amused smile.

Months after I arrived here in Canada, one of the grandkids of my employer, asked me how many we are in the family and when I told her "Nine", she had this dumbstruck expression on her face and exclaimed, "Your mother must be crazy." It was my turn to be amused so I just smiled at her. Actually, my mother is the sanest person I know. And I'm not just saying this because she's my mother.

Watching the show, transported me back to the time, when while I was busy growing up, a new baby sister would arrive every couple of years or so, then later on, my two younger brothers. The "talk" circulating at that time in our household was that my father was looking for a boy, so he and my mother kept trying for one. Unfortunately, they kept missing and my brothers took a long time in coming.

Growing up with six younger sisters and two younger brothers ( yes, I'm the eldest) is no walk in the park. I had to balance my precarious position or otherwise I will have to faced a mutiny. I never acted like I'm the oldest child except later on, when we were all growing up. Early on in life, I realized that with every arrival of a new baby, I was positioned farther away from my parents and I accepted that.

Until now, I still don't know how my mother managed it. Or my late father for that matter. I remembered how she deftly managed to divide ( in equal portion) one whole piece of "Cassava cake" and when I got my share, I stared at the matchbox-sized piece of cake in dismay, then realizing all of us had the same share, I ate  it with no second thought. I used to asked my mother how come she would not make a fuss when me or one of my siblings got sick (we're talking coughs and colds here, folks) and would just hand us Biogesic and told us to drink lots of water. Unlike my aunt, who got worried at once and fussed around my cousin when she had colds. I recalled one incident while I was still in elementary or high school ( I can't remember anymore) when I woke up in the middle of the night, because I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't sleep. I went to where my mother was sleeping, one of my younger sister was sleeping beside her and I tried to make some space and snuggled beside her. Somehow, being close to my mother offered me some comfort ( never mind that her back was on me) and I was finally able to sleep.


I know my parents were not perfect. They have their own faults and shortcomings. Hats off to them for bringing us all here. I'm sure they could get rid of us if they wishes to and yet they decided to keep us. I read somewhere that children are a blessing, I hope my folks feel that way with us, their children. ( I may ask my mother about this to be sure. )


But what we lack from our parents, we got it through our grandmother and aunts and uncle. Fortunately, our grandmother doted on us and somehow make up for the lag. And we got aunts and uncle who are nice to us. Of course, there were disagreements ( who hasn't) but they pale in comparison to the kindness they showed on us.

My siblings and I had to make the most of what we have, while growing up. We learned to be content and happy with whatever our parents provided for us. Though there were times that I feel resentful. Like the time during high school when I had to diligently count the number of pages in a pad of intermediate paper so I could divide it equally between myself and my two younger sisters. My father only bought us one pad and would make a ruckus if we kept asking for  a new one, every now and then. Still, we all survived high school with that arrangement.

Life was pretty much chaotic at that time. And it still is now. With my three nieces and three nephews, running around the house, my mother commented that she's back to round one. She may complained about it but I know she wouldn't have it any other way. That's my mother.:-)

Whenever my sister and I hang out together and talked about all those times, we just laughed about it. Somehow, having all the memories to come back to is comforting, especially now, that we're miles away from home. Though sometimes we feel bad about what we had to endure because of our "number", still, we're thankful. Not everyone have the same experience like  we had.

When all is said and done, my family is all I have.


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