...single and cool with it...

 Getting married and settled is not always the norm. I realized that early on so I have no problem dealing with the fact that I'm not into a relationship, however complicated ( as Facebook status sometimes says). Coming from a place and culture where being "single in your thirties" is regarded as some kind of misfortune, I had my fair share of comments and questions, ranging from downright annoying to laugh out loud funny, thrown my way. Of which I always try to answer politely.

I tried getting into a relationship but it did not last long. I entered into it for experience's sake. And I found out that relationship is not my thing.

For most people, remaining or staying single is considered to be the most untoward thing you can do to your self. Women especially go at great lengths to find the "perfect catch". Men on the other hand honed on their repertoire of overused pick up lines to lure willing victims for a quick, no-frills roll in the hay.

So here goes my pitch for staying sane while being single and how to stay happy while at it. At least to me, anyway. I'm sure this does not apply to anyone. Or probably it does, who knows.

Born To It

"I'm single because I was born that way." - Mae West

I always believe that I was born to be single. I mean, hello, isn't it obvious enough.  Sure, I like looking at happily married couples, with a kid or two in tow, but that's about it. I never envisioned myself to be a doting mother or a loving wife and all. I can't barely take care of myself and looking after another person would be a crime, I think. I do adore my nieces and nephews. I like kids but it doesn't mean I want one of my own.

Sometimes, we fail to realized that there are some things we are destined to be. But then, the fear of being different always prevail, that we end up doing things out of compulsion and do so blindly as a bat.

Don't Go With The Flow

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go. " - Dr. Seuss

Most of the times, we are relegated to doing stuff we really don't to do in the first place. And somehow not offending the people concerned is far more important than our own peace of mind. Fortunately for me, my family has not pressured me into embarking the "married" life. I was left alone to decide what to do with my life, no questions asked.

So far, entering a relationship and eventually getting married has not entered my mind. And it helps that I'm not inclined to "overhaul" myself just to appeal to someone. I could not care less for what others might say for my utter disregard of not "looking like the rest of the crowd".

Solitude Is Bliss

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."- Henry David Thoreau

I've heard about the saying "No man is an island." but it doesn't say you can't exist alone. People hurry into relationships for fear of being all by themselves. I'm happy I'm not hang up on it because I don't want to end up stuck with someone.

I like being alone most of the time, though to some, it is somewhat weird. Surrounded with a lot of people give me the creeps. And spending my life with someone will probably give me more than creeps. Not to mention all the time and effort.

Alone Does Not Mean Lonely

"I don't want to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone." - Delta Burke

Ah, the most dreaded of all our life's situations. No one of "sound" mind wants to be lonely and that's why we exhaust all means to be with someone. Then I guess I am of unsound mind. For reasons I'd rather not explain in detail here, I like being alone. And I'm not lonely. Far from it.

Spending time with someone does not necessarily mean you're "lonely-proof". From what I gleaned around me, all the loneliness in the world comes from being in close proximity with another individual.

As for growing old alone, what about it? I mean, eventually, we all have to grow old and die. And I think, no matter what we may want otherwise, when death comes knocking on our door, it will be just us.

Be In Sync With Yourself

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

For the longest time, I always wonder why people say "Get married and settle down." How can being married equated to settling down. I think you can never settle down once you're married, on the contrary, you need to work double time and I don't mean this just on the financial side. 

I think it's no surprise why I'm still single. If I alone can't still figure out how to stay content and comfortable with myself, then I have no business dragging someone else along for the ride.

*****

I don't mean disrespect to all those happily married or involved out there. Actually, I'm not averse to this idea, I'm just not up for it. We all have different choices to make in life. Somehow, the life we live and want to have, affect all those choices. In the end, whatever decisions we arrived at, it all boils down to us.

Getting married does not mean you live "happily ever after" in the same way that remaining single does not mean you're on the front seat of an endless journey of loneliness. It's up to us to will ourselves to do the necessary work in order to attain the results that our hearts desire. And it doesn't matter, whether you get married or remained single.

Life is what we make it. And then some.