What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas ( my take!! ).

Before I bore you with the minutiae  of my 2 day get-away in the Sin City, I'd take this opportunity to say "thank you" to the people who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. You all know who you are.

My sister, our friend, Rhea and I thought we'd go to Vegas and see what the hype is all about. Both of them have been there before, so I'm sure they already know what the hype is all about. As for me, I was in for a real treat or so I thought.

They always know how to "pose". :-)

Just to be clear, we didn't go to Vegas because it was my birthday. The days just happened to coincide. Nothing remarkable happened for me there. And after two days, I was tired, had a "tantrum" ( as they call it ) and ready to go home. I can't stand the crowd, the endless walking ( which is ironic because I love walking ) and the smell of cigarette smoke. And more than one occasion, I smelled MJ that made feel nauseous. I made a comment when I came across several people on the streets, chugging along these huge cans of beer and it wasn't even happy hour yet. My sister told me, "Sister, this is Vegas." I was like, yeah right.

My only reason in going there was to check out the place and hang out with them in a different location, for a change. I was excited because it was our first trip together, out of the country. So there's that. I tried to keep a straight face and be agreeable, through out the whole trip. I even manage to take photos and be in several of our selfies. The thing is I just can't kept to myself what I really feel, so I had a "tantrum" ( their term, when I speak my mind, which is not often ). Both of them were annoyed and probably angry at me, that prompted them to say something like "we're not going on a trip again, with you". I had no words to answer back.

One of our many selfies. :-)

In retrospect,  I should have been more pleasant and agreeable to them. I should have followed their lead and acted like a normal person in Vegas. But what's done is done. I have no plans of going back there. Las Vegas did not evoke feelings of "I'm happy to be here !" in me. Instead, it was more like "So this is Vegas, can I go home now?"  Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to see Las Vegas. And I'm thankful that my sister and Rhea were patient enough to put up with me. They still have a good time ( I hope ! ) in spite my being the Grinch in their background. They both get along fine, especially when it comes to going to the malls and shop for things. I'm just the wet blanket in their midst.

But I did try to have a good time and it wasn't all down in the mouth experience for me. I made a few jokes and really tried to act like a normal person. I was ecstatic when we went to Jollibee, which was located away from the strip. In my excitement, I managed to polished off a 2-piece chicken meal, with rice and gravy. I ignored the fact that my mouth were burning while  eating, only to realized halfway, that I ordered the spicy kind. It was really spicy, mind you. While waiting in line to order, I kept telling my sister, "This is amazing, feels like we're back home".  I was really happy that time. Of course, nothing compares to the Jollibee chicken meal back home. On to more cool stuff, I enjoyed the Celine Dion show we went to. It was surreal to listen to her sing live, the song "My Heart Will Go On" from the movie Titanic. I did sing along to a few of her songs I'm familiar with. It was a great show.

Thanks to my sister and master shifa. :-)

Now, we're back to our normal routines. Back to work and all that stuff. We laughed about our trip now. If they're true to their word ( about not going on a trip with me, again ), well, that remains to be seen. Repeatedly, I assured both of them that, I won't feel bad or feel left out, if they go some place, where there's a mall or an outlet shop. I will happily count myself out and they don't have to feel guilty about leaving me behind. I will be fine.

Let's see. :-)

Tofino, revisited.

I don't go out unless I have to. So it's always a big deal for me when I do but I downplay my excitement to the point where, it seems like I don't care. Before I go on, let's get this thing straight, when I say "go out", it doesn't mean going to the malls. Walking in the mall is a torture for me so whenever we go there, I drag my feet and make this "tsk..tsk...tsk" sound when I get bored.

So when we decided to go to Tofino for a day, I was excited. Of course, my sister was more excited than I am. She had all these accouterments for spending a day at the beach stuffed in a bag, not to mention spending quite a long time on her make-up and all. Turned out it was cloudy and a bit chilly when we finally get there. My sister had to  slipped on a pair of jeans because she find it too cold to walk in her shorts. I laugh at her and head to the beach, while they follow closely behind.

Would have been a nicer view if it was sunny but the fact that I get to see this and hear the sound of the waves is amazing. :-)

There's never a shortage of photo-op session. :-)

Sunny or not, we still managed to enjoy the day. We had lunch  at a nearby park, then walked around for a bit before we decided to head back home. Rhea is a such a good sport to spend the day with us. I mean, my sister and I can be noisy and loud but I like to think, we're fun to be with. So anyway, we head back home. We stopped by Ucluelet, just to checked it out. My sister and I told Rhea that we haven't been there before, hence the short stop. 

Stopped by Chesterman Beach and enjoyed the sights and despite the gloomy surroundings, they still had fun and jump. :-)

I was a bit tired from sitting too long. I imagined Rhea would be too, since she was the one driving. I had a great time. I enjoyed being out and about, without the confines of cement walls ( I'm sure, my sister knows what I mean. )

I managed to scramble up on one of the rock formations and get a better view of the waves and feel the chilly air against my face. I was in the zone, until  I heard my sister called me to come down.

I can't say it was an unplanned trip to Tofino. We did plan it and it was a bummer when the day didn't turn out the way we want it to, weather-wise. All in all, it was a great day. Thanks to Rhea. :-)

In everything, give thanks. And be okay.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus

I find it easy to feel grateful  and say thanks, when things go according to my plans. When everything falls into place and I'm left with this wonderful feeling that life is good. The real challenge is when things take a turn for the worse and giving thanks is the last thing on my mind. When this happen, I'm more inclined to feel angry and frustrated. And sometimes, indulge in pity party, which is not a good idea. It takes a conscious effort on my part to see past all the negative feelings and look at the bigger picture.

"I've started to look at life differently. When you're thanking God for every little you - every meal, every time you wake up, every time you take a sip of water - you can't help but be more thankful for life itself, for the unlikely and miraculous fact that you exist at all." - A. J. Jacobs

Things happen for a reason so I've heard. Life won't always be easy and there are things I can't control no matter what. Still, I have a lot to be thankful in my life.

The chance to see this view is reason enough to be thankful.  Just proves I get to live another day. :-)

H A P P Y   T H A N K S G I V I N G !!!

Philomena

I don't usually write my thoughts about a book I've just read. But I made an exception for Philomena. As much as possible, I try to keep an open mind  when I read a book, recommended or suggested by someone. The book club gives me the opportunity to read books that otherwise I won't read or even hear of. Its great that Rita loves to read too and don't mind taking me along to their book club meetings. And the ladies are nice.

Reading "Philomena" stirred emotions in me that I haven't thought about in a long time. It touches on the subject of religion, for one. I am a non-practicing Roman Catholic but I was raised as one. I remember the times when I reluctantly went with my grandmother to hear mass on Sundays at four in the morning. I'd sit there in church, half-asleep and didn't really understand what was going on. I grew up on talks about eternity in hell if I commit sins. Later on, as I got older, I started to ask questions and refused to go to church. At some point, probably out of exasperation, my grandmother called me a heathen. I was sure I disappointed her but I know that she doted on me till the day she passed away. I also have had first-hand experience with nuns. I went to a Catholic school in my secondary years. And during my first year in university, I lived in a dormitory run by nuns. While I was there, I did crazy stuff, like hide under my bed when it was time to say the rosary. I even come close to being kick out from the dormitory because I got drunk. But I didn't feel bad that I break the rules, I was more embarrassed when my father had to come and had a talk with one of the nuns. When I think about it now, all I can say is that, things back then were not really what they purport to be. And belief in God is not just about going to church.

Babies born out of wedlock is not  foreign to me. I have three younger sisters who got pregnant and they never heard from the guys again. My nieces and nephews don't know their fathers. When I first learned about my sisters' predicament, I was angry at them for being stupid. Then, the babies came. I realized that I could not be mad at them too and act as if I don't care. It wasn't the babies fault and they didn't ask for it. Sure, another mouth to fed put more strain on our family's meager resources, but to abandon the babies was not an option. My sisters were lucky, they didn't have to go through what Philomena did.  A few months ago, I had the chance to go home for a short visit and I was amazed at how my nieces and nephews have grown, in the past four years I was away. Amid the chaos and noise in our big family, I know they'll be fine. I think we made the right decision to keep them, besides it would break my mother's heart if they were taken away.

I can relate to Mike's need to belong and have the affirmation from the people he cares about. Sometimes, I wonder if I do things just to be in good terms with my family. That if I do something contrary to what they expect of me, I'll disappoint them. Fortunately, my mother never pressured me to do something I don't like. She told me once, that she knows I'll always do the right thing. And I try to.

Anyway, I like to read books that make me think. And Philomena is one of them. It made me think. Probably way too much, I end up writing this post.

Coming to Canada.

After countless forms that needs to be filled up and signed and days and months of waiting,  I finally got that piece of paper that says I'm confirmed as a permanent resident of Canada.

It's been four years since I first set foot in this country. I remember seeing the lights of Vancouver for the first time, as the plane prepared to land, and I realized that, there's no turning back.  I had no idea as to what lies ahead of me. It has been a learning experience, as I eased myself  into the Canadian way of life. And I'm still learning every day. I have to remind myself from time to time that I only inhabit a small portion of this country. But to keep it simple, whenever someone ask me where I'm at now, my answer is always, "I'm in Canada."

I am grateful for Mama. I get to go to school and come to Canada. Although, she thinks I'm too serious. :-)

I've always wanted to go to New York for a visit. But I never thought about the possibility that I get to move away from home and live somewhere, a thousand miles away from family and friends, in an entirely different time zone and climate. Coming to Canada has its upside and downside, like everything else in life. "You can't have your cake and eat it too." proves to be true.

People I've met are curious to know if I like it here. I always say that I do. I like the temperate climate. I like the library. Although being away from home is a compromise I have to deal with. I miss my family and the few friends I have, from time to time. And I miss the food. I came from a country where no meal is complete without rice. It took me awhile to get used to eating salads and other kind of vegetables. One day, someone asked me if I cook my own food, I replied no. And she was like, don't you miss it? I told her, I miss it, sometimes. But I learn to adjust and adapt. Besides, my sister cook Filipino food when we hang out.

My sister and I don't agree on a lot of things. But that doesn't change the fact that I learned some things from her, like how to put on a jacket, without having the shirt sleeves all bunched up underneath. :-)

When it was certain that I'd be coming to Canada, I decided to read more about the country to keep myself abreast with what to expect. Let's just say that my reading helped a bit. But still, it didn't prepare me for all the experiences I encountered along the way.  A lot has change for me in the span of four years. I like to think that coming to Canada made me a better person. It made me more responsible. Being here made me look at my family in a different light and appreciate them. Then I learned how to drive and got my driver's license. I  get to run a marathon. I had the opportunity to work for three different wonderful elderly ladies, whom impacted my life in ways I didn't expect. No amount of reading could have prepared me, for the experience  and realization ( which came later )-- that I am capable of caring for another person. That I can be emotionally invested in someone. And I don't mean this, in the sense of just doing my job. That I will learn to like animals, especially Moxie and Nakita, and sometimes, prefer their company. That coming to Canada would test my patience, when one day, I had to stand in the rain, while I wait for the bus. And on another occasion literally ran after one.

Dennis and Rita make my life easier. I am and will always be thankful. 

Before you doze off and fall flat on your face while reading this, I'll bring this post to an end by saying a word of thanks to the people who make it possible for me to be here.  I can't take all the credit for having survived in a foreign country, that's altogether different from the one where I was born and grew up. I owe it to all the generous and kind people I have had the privilege of meeting. It's worth mentioning that without my aunt ( whom we call Mama ), I wouldn't be in Canada right now. Even if we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, it won't discount the fact that she  made it possible for me to come here. To my sister, who made it easier for me to adjust to my new life here, even if sometimes, she drives me crazy. And most of all, I wouldn't be able to comply with the requirements to become a permanent resident if not for Mary, Nora and Nancy and their respective families. They trusted me and welcomed me in their homes.

My "pet" friends...

"Animals are such agreeable friends-- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." - George Eliot

I've been meaning to write something about my new-found "friends". I always keep putting it off. I spent too much time thinking about what to write rather than go ahead and simply write.

If someone asked me three years ago, if I like animals, especially cats and dogs, my answer would be no. Not that I have something personal against them, I just didn't like them then.

"An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language." - Martin Buber

Now, things have change. I never thought that I can carry on a one-sided conversation with a furry, four-legged creature. And what amazes me is that I enjoy it. I mean, I'm more inclined to hang out with them. Perhaps, because they don't expect anything from me, except, to pet and play with them or give them treats. And most of all, they don't talk behind my back.

I don't have issues with self-esteem but it sure does feels good to come across Moxie, eager and excited to see me, especially after I'm away for a day or two. It means she's happy to see me again. Or when Nakita sat, with a pillow on my lap, comfy and content. It makes me think she likes me and I pose no threat to her.

"The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude." - Robert Brault

I find that dogs and cats are smart. Well, at least the ones, I hang out with every day. I think it's neat the way Nakita waits for me patiently, outside my bedroom, on some mornings. As if to say, "C'mon, hurry up and feed me already." Of course, she only makes the "meow" sound. Or the way Moxie tries to tell me, when she needs to go outside or when her bowl is empty and needs a refill. Or the way she gives me the "look" when she wants a treat.

For now, I'm having a nice time with them ( Moxie and Nakita, I mean. ) And I think, they seem to enjoy my company too. I spoil them, I've been told. But then, we're "friends" so....

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

"For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not going to expound at great length about the history behind Thanksgiving. If you're curious enough, you can look it up ( like, Google it ) on the Internet. I come across this annual event, from books I've read and movies I've watched. Little did I know that I get to experience it first-hand. There's really nothing extraordinary about it, other than to give thanks, I suppose. Families usually have get-together ( of course, if respective schedules permits ). Turkey dinner and all the trimmings are there. Then there's also this thing, about it being a holiday, which means a long weekend, for those who works from Mondays to Fridays.

After living here in Canada for the past two years, I realized that when you're grateful, it is easier to be generous and look at the brighter side of things. I'm not saying that this realization happen overnight. I continually work at it everyday. Sometimes, when things are downright tough, you need enough resolve to still be thankful, no matter what.

"No matter how easy or hard our current conditions, we all have a wealth of simple blessings around us - waiting to be counted. As we do, our happiness grows. Our gratitude expands. And each day becomes a breath-taking gift." ( from The Secret Letters of the Monk who sold his Ferrari )

I'm THANKFUL  for...

EACH SINGLE DAY. The fact that I still hear my alarm go off every morning is reason enough to be grateful. Otherwise, everything doesn't matter.

My FAMILY back home. Sometimes, it can be exasperating and frustrating to deal with them. But then, "You don't love your family  because they're kind and considerate. You love them because they're your family." ( from Fall of Giants )

The FRIENDS I have and will have in the future. I'm at the point in my life, where a friend does not necessarily mean someone I hang out with everyday and do stuff, rather, someone whom I'm sure will have my back ( and vice versa ).

BOOKS and the love for READING.Without them, my life is incomplete.

RUNNING. It has help me become a better person. Not to mention, giving me that extra jolt of "runner's high".

For my WORK and the PEOPLE I've come to know ( and even live with ) through it. I've been blessed to be well-taken care of, that sometimes, I thought I'm being spoiled. :-)

HIM. For allowing me to be here and live life. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

What are you grateful for?

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." - Frederick Keonig

I've been toying with the idea to come up with something about Thanksgiving. It's purely a coincidence that I decided to write about it at the time that Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. From where I'm at, this yearly occasion was celebrated more than a month ago. I'm not saying that I'm partial to them ( the Americans, I mean ) It doesn't matter to me anyway. Besides, I think that each new day ( however it turns out ) is always a good enough reason to be thankful for. And not just a specified date on the calendar.

I'm thankful for this.

I'm THANKFUL for...

• RUNNING because it has given me immense pleasure and a strong sense of doing something great, not to mention crazy ( sometimes ). I'm only exceptionally happy when I run. ( If you know what I mean.)
• BOOKS because I love to read. I can't imagine what my life would be if I don't read. And without books and the library.
• FAMILY because I realized that no matter how my family is 'dysfunctional' at times, it would be pretty isolating and lonesome to not have them to come home to and belong with. Though at present, I'm far from them.

I will always be thankful for the chance to know my girls.

• ANOTHER YEAR because turning a year older just means that I'm still here, alive and well. Always willing and thankful to live life, no matter what.
• BEING HERE because I learned that any place can be as great or crappy as I want them to be. It's just a matter of perspective and the right attitude.
• FRIENDS because even if I'm boring and all, they still take the time to get to know me. ( You all know who you are.)
• HIM because when all is said and done, it all comes down to HIM. What I have, I owe it all to HIM.

Some of the happiest and carefree moments I had are those times spent with them.

"Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living." - Amanda Bradley 

Anyway, I think I've said enough. So, let's hear it, "What are you grateful for?" And, let's have that turkey, already.!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

...my three "friendship" reads...

I wish it's that easy ( like ABCs ) to walk up to someone and say, "Hey, would you like to be my friend?" or "Can we be friends?" or "Can we hang out?"

Maybe it's no coincidence that the three books I've read lately dealt about friends and the intricacies of friendships. I am loathe to admit it, that I too, need friends. After living for more than a year in a foreign country, I have yet to call someone a "friend". I have friends back home and I miss them ( but I try not to dwell on it so much )

So, here goes...

"People are not always obedient. We say one thing and do another. We feel one thing; then our hearts open in another direction. We see one thing but don't understand that blinders hinder our vision."

"Grief is what tells you who you are alone."

"What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone is the simple part."

"You must be true to yourself even if it goes against the grain of what is expected."

"Remember that life is short and full of surprises. If you wait too long, opportunities fade like the setting sun."

I tried to come up with a book review but I draw a blank. All I can say, is that, having read these books, made me think, about the friends I have.  A friend is not merely someone whom you have almost everything in common. Sometimes, a friend can be someone, whom at first, you thought it's unlikely for you to be friends with, but once you hit it off --- there's magic.

Enough said.

POWER of 7

 We're a fun-loving group that enjoy pretty much being together. 

With nothing much to do, aside from my daily chores, I had this sudden thought to write about the POWER of 7. Yes, that's what we are, back in those days.

We've come a long way, though we only met a few years ago. After the preliminary introductions, we hit it off at once. And we managed to have loads of fun while in pursuit of the same goal--to finish and pass the Caregiving course--unscathed. I can say that it was during that time, I had the most fun in my post-college life.

It's nice to be with people you feel comfortable with. And know that they won't abandon you, when push comes to shove. ( Well, one time, they did not left me behind me on the curbside when I was so drunk to even know my way home. )

So, what is this all about? Well, I guess it's just my way of saying that I MISS THEM and our time together. And I hope we can hang out again, soon....

...I'm such at a loss for...

the family that eats together, grows big together

it's not every day that you get to turn 33

remembering the dearly departed

fear of flying

I get to use my shades ( no biggie )

watch Harry Potter and the...

fun times we all had

need I say more?

our one and only bumblebee ( now Moon Bear )

we'll always be cool

the way we are

as always

I'd drop on my knees for....

face off?

generations after

we are

happy together

bearer of "AWESOME" news

...WORDS...

...awesome birthday...

 now, look at this...

I woke up a bit groggy this morning. I was thinking of going out for a birthday jog but I was not able to do so. I slept late last night over the excitement of my new books and the feeling that I am about to turn a year older.

I was up early as usual. Had my usual coffee and continued reading Dicken's Great Expectations. At half past six, I went out to hear mass. Joy joined me, actually, I asked her to accompany me. Afterward, I spent the entire morning in my room, alternating between doing some stuff on the computer and reading. At almost dinner time, we went to Jingle's house.

To say that I was surprised was an understatement. You see, I'm not the kind of person who go berserk when excited or surprised. When I saw the pastel colored balloons with the word "Happy 33rd Birthday, Tata", I was dumbfounded and just grinned like crazy. I did not go berserk on the outside but inside I was on high. You see, I never had balloons on my birthday, not even once, until today.

I did a double take when Jingle placed the birthday cake on the table. I had the suspicion that she and Joy were up to something for my birthday. I didn't know they will go to this extent. My birthday cake, as what would Po said, "AWESOME!"

"We all have something in common. Guess what?"

On one corner of the table were a pile of party favors and party hats in Winnie the Pooh motifs. Food and drinks were present as customary. Jingle's son, Luis joined in the merriment. He prepared games and we had a blast. He was very game and the only kid present.Moments later, Mae Ann and Fritzie arrived. They brought along a pizza. We ate some and drink some. Jingle's daughter, Anna and her friend also joined us.

Joy, Jingle, Luis and me

The 33-year old, cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. Go figures.

Joy, Jingle, Luis, me, Fritzie and Mae Ann

Check out my presents. Something came out good from my "shameless plugging" blog post. And luckily, someone read it too. :-)

and then came Po

 It's good to be 33. Thank you guys...:-)